Crack Fic 6: The day of the Noobs
by Erich Von Freidrichsburg
Summary: Really bizarre. Crossovers, Big Macs, me and my friends, the JuggernautBitch!, and a whole ton of crazy stuff. It is official. I'm insane.
1. Chapter 1

T**h**E dAy of _TH_E _n_**oo**bs

P.S.: Don't ask.

Disclaimer: I do not own anything from Naruto, Inuyasha, Final Fantasy, Rocky Horror Picture Show, Kingdom Hearts, McDonalds, Juggernaut Bitch, Ask a Ninja, Canada, Mongolia, India, England, Monty Python, Invader Zim or any other works by Jhonen Vasquez. I also do not own my friends. They own me. Now, on with this insane fic!

(Ask a Ninja music starts playing)

Naruto: Alright, more fanmail! Hmm...seems to be a question from one of my all-so-many fans!

Dear Naruto,

Has anything really bizarre ever happened to you and your entire world?

-Eriku-San

Naruto: Hmm...GOOD QUESTION! Well, there was that one time, about a month ago...

(Flashback) authors note: most the fic is going to be in flashback. But then again, isn't most anime flashbacks?

It was a calm day. The birds were...(waiting for massive meteor to destroy the world)...wait...PHEW! Well, anyway, Naruto, Sakura, Sai, Ino, and Choji were eating ramen at the bar. Just then team Gai walked by, and Ino noticed Neji's new robe.

Ino: Hey, Neji?

Neji: Yes?

Ino: Have you ever noticed...how much...

Neji: _Oh, God, PLEASE! Don't let her be another fangirl!_

Ino: ...you look like a jedi in that robe?

Blank Silence

Neji: What?

Ino: Really, you gotta consider...

Tenten: Then, if he's Anakin, than I must be Padame! (glomps Neji)

A.N.: If you havn't guessed, this is post-time skip. And, yes, Neji DOES look aweful lot like a jedi...

Choji: Hey, did you hear that voice?

Sakura: Yea...I did!

Sai: ...

Ino: So, if your a jedi...can I become your apprentice?

Neji: What?

Lee: THAT'S the youthful spirit, Ino! Neji is a Jonin now, so that means he CAN make you his disciple!

Neji&Tenten: (Nudging away from Lee.)

Just then there was a sudden boom, swish, twirl sound, and they looked and saw what looked like two people fall from the air.

Meanwhile, 2 minutes earlier in a different dimension...

The Inuyasha group were battling Naraku...again. Seshomaru was saying how foolish Inuyasha and Naraku were...again. And Kikyo was hiding somewhere watching the events calmly...again. And Kagome was worried about Inuyasha getting hurt...again. And Shippo was afraid...again. And a certain Monk and a certain Demon-slayer were thinking of a way to get out of one of Naraku's traps...again.

Miroku: _Well, if I use my wind tunnel, I'll get poisoned. And is Sango trys to take them on, they'll over-power her...there's just to many. _

Just then, a large whirlwind sucked Sango and Miroku into the air. Now, just try guessing where they landed...

2 hours later, in the middle of a forest...

Sango was just coming to.

Sango: What the heck...where's Miroku? (gets up, looks towards Konoha) Hey, there's a town! But, wait...where theres a town...theres women...and seeing Miroku isn't here...OHHHH! I'm going to kill him if he asks just one more women one more time...

Miroku: Will you be the bearer of my children?

He was asking, of all people, Mitirashi Anko.

Anko: Wait, what did you say again?

A moment of silence, then...

Anko: Heh...haha...hahah...hehe...he-hahahahahahahaha!

Anko fell to the floor laughing.

Anko: You've gotta be kiddn' me! HAHAHAHA! I havn't heard such a dumb pick-up line since that stupid ero-sennin! HAHAHAHAHA!

Miroku: _Ero-sennin? Perverted Hermit?_

Miroku spotted, of all people, Tsunade. He instantly ran up to her.

Miroku: Hello, my fair lady! Will you be doing me the pleasure of bearing my children?

Moment of silence.

Bird: EVER! EVER! EVER!

Tsunade: (twitching) Grr..._another Jiraiya? _Look here, sir. I may look like I'm in my twenties, but I'm actually in my fifties. Which means I can't have children!

Miroku: Err...what?

Tsunade: (cracks knuckles) I'm giving you five minutes... to get the hell out of my sight.

---: DYNAMIC ENTRY! (just guess who it is?)

Miroku: (falls to floor) Ughh...

Tsunade: Thank's, Gai. Now, can you please get rid of this...thing?

Gai: Of course, Tsunade-sama! It would be unyouthful of me to not fallow my leaders orders! (picks up Miroku) I shall do it at once! (dramatic sunset). HAHAHAHA!

Tsunade: _How the heck does he do that...at 12:04 in the afternoon?_

Meanwhile, near the gates of the city (in the city)...

Sango: Grr...why can't Miroku do what I ask him, just this once?

Anko(in background): And then he said "Will you be the bearer of my children?"!

Sango: (turns around) WHAT did he say? (a very scary look on her face).

Anko: Oh, some guy came up to me and asked "would you bear my...

Sango: ARRGHH! I'm going to KILL that bastard!

Anko: So, you know him?

Sango: Sadly...yes.

Meanwhile...somewhere in a bar...

Miroku: And then some freak wearing green came out of no where and kicked me so hard, I passed out! I woked up and saw that I was in a bar! And, ohhhhh, if Sango finds out, she's going to send me to hell!

Jiraiya: Hmm...yes...alright...I'll just have to teach you the right way...to be perverted!

Miroku: What?

Jiraiya: You see...I am...THE LEGENDARY PERVERT! I'm not JUST a pervert...I'm a SUPER PERVERT!

Miroku: Thank you, my good Lord! Now, what was your name again?

Jiraiya: Jiraiya...Jiraiya-SAMA!

Miroku: Yes, Jiraiya-sama...show me...the way...

Meanwhile, back with the group...

Team Gai had decided to sit down and eat with everyone else. Then, the silence was broken by...

Ino: So, was do you want me to do, Neji-sama? Shall we train to hown my jedi skills?

Neji: For the last time...I'm not...a JEDI!

Tenten: Except when we're...roleplaying, if you get what I mean...

Neji: Tenten, I thought I told you you to keep our 'private' matters to ourselves!

Tenten: Oh, yeah, sorry...

Naruto: Uhh, what do you mean by...oh...my...god...DIRTY NOW, YES? (evil grin).

Neji: (trying to come up with an excuse) Uhh...what the heck? There's a moose flying through the air!

Naruto: HAHA! You think I'll fall for some lame trick like that? You're talking to a former MASTER PRANKSTER here! As if I...would...what the?

Indeed, there was a moose flying through the air. There was also a cow, a chocobo, and a blue whale. What will happen to Naruto and the gang? Find out next time!

Meanwhile, in the Akatsuki hideout...

Itachi: Leader, we need to talk.

Akatsuki Leader: Yes, Itachi-san?

Itachi: Why do we have to paint our nails purple.

Akatsuki Leader: Well, purple is my favorite color, thats why.

Itachi?

Kisame: Told you he was gay...

THE END...till next the time...

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	2. Say what?

Chapter 2: Say what?

Nar: So, where were we? Oh yeah: they all were staring at the Moose, Cow, Chocobo, and Blue Whale flying through the air...

They all were silent. It was a very confusing sight.

Ino: What is it, master?

Neji: I'M NOT A F&$ING JEDI, YOU HEAR?

Cow: Moo.

Meanwhile...at a local hotspring...

Jiraiya was teaching his new apprentice, Miroku, on the best way of peeping on women.

Jiraiya: Now, you see, you've got to find the smallest hole in the wall, but only small enough so that you can't be seen. Now, in the case of being caught perform this jutsu.

Jiraiya tells him the jutsu to get away from angry women who discover him.

Jiraiya: Now sit back, relax, and enjoy the show!

10 minutes pass. Meanwhile...back at the Akatsuki hideout...

Itachi: Leader...I've got a question.

AL: Yes, Itachi-san?

Itachi: Well...everyone has been wondering...are you gay?

AL: ...No.

Itachi: Alright.

Kisame: COUGH-liar-COUGH!

Meanwhile...back to our groop...

A sudden purple mist started to float towards them. Sango immediately recognized this mist, and ran for high-heavens away from it.

If you don't know what this is, it is a mist that, when inhaled, induces the syptoms of Alcoholism.

Naruto: Hey...what is this stuff?

Then, Hinata slowly began to wobble. She then began slowly walking (stumbling would be more appropriate) towards Naruto. Then...

Hinata: Uhh...uhh...(glomps Naruto) NARUTO-KUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN!

Naruto: ACK! (falls over from glomp) Uh, Hinata-chan...are you okay?

Hinata: Hee-hee-hee! Ehhh, letsh ditch...these lo-sores...and go hang out at my place, huh?

She was talking like she was drunk.

Neji: Hinata-sama, what the hell has gotten into you!

Hinata: Uhh...C'MON! I wanna...party...

Shikamaru: Eh, how troublesome...

Just then, he too was glomped...by Ino.

Shikamaru: Ino, what the fk!

Ino: HEEEEEEEEEEE! Lets go and party with Hinata! We can have...have...a FOURSOME!

Hinata: HELL NO! HE'S MINE, YOU ALL HEAR!

Neji: Hinata-sama, why are you...(GLOMP), great, not you too!

Tenten: C'mon! Lets go play in feilds of wildflowers! Hee-hee!

Neji: Umm...I think it's just about time to go, do you guys agree?

Everyguy: YES!

And so, they ran. Meanwhile...at Otogakure...or whatever...

Kabuto: Gorilla-Hippo.

Sasuke: Say what?

Kabuto: Monkey-Hippo-Chinese-Shuriken-Monster!

Sasuke: What the hell?

Kabuto: MOTORCYCLE O' MOOSSY DOOM!

Sasuke: Alright, there's definately something wrong with you...

Kabuto: Rightala, here'sta finatelydea thingsomea rongwa ithwa ouya...

Sasuke: I give up...

Kabuto: GODZILLA!

Well, complete randomness, eh?

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Steve Irwin, AKA "Crocodile Hunter": 1962-2006. We will miss him.


End file.
